Why The Way You Talk To Yourself Is So Important?

Did you realize that the average person has over 6,000 thoughts in a given day? Surprisingly, most of these beliefs manifest themselves as self-talk. Self-talk, often referred to as our internal monolog, is our self-awareness at its most fundamental level. We'll look at why the way we talk to ourselves creates our truth and, more importantly, why the way we speak to ourselves matters.

Self-Talk: What Is It, and How Does It Operate?

Self-talk is a continual stream of internal dialog or ideas that flows through our heads, whether we are conscious of it or not. Our self-talk has enormous power since it has the opportunity to impact our emotional states, which in turn influence our choices and attitudes. Overall, how we behave or act in each scenario is influenced by how we see the problem and how we perceive ourselves. With that stated, there are two types of self-talk: negative and positive.

Toxic Self-Talk

Have you ever caught yourself lying awake at night thinking about an insult or a previous blunder? Have you ever heard your inner critic say, "You'll never be clever enough?" "How come you can't be lovely enough?" "Give up," or anything like that. "What's the point of trying if you're constantly going to fail?" Have you ever let your mind tell you that you are clearly not good enough, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary?

Negative self-talk, as illustrated, can be incredibly damaging and hurtful, mainly when it inhibits us from discovering our actual value and reaching our full potential. However, eliminating such beliefs may not be as straightforward as it appears. According to academics, the human psyche is well-known for sticking to negativity, with studies revealing that over 80% of our thinking is negative. The explanation for this is that adverse events have a more significant influence on our brains than pleasant occurrences. It explains why we prefer to dwell longer on negative events, why criticism has more effect on us than praise, and why past tragedies are more likely to weigh heavy on our shoulders.

Negative bias is a psychological phenomenon that may significantly impact our behavior, decisions, relationships, and general life views. Negative self-talk may become downright self-destructive in some situations due to negativity bias, limiting your potential by drawing incorrect assumptions regarding who you are and what you can do.

Consider a lady who thinks she is a loser who will never finish tasks properly. This erroneous conclusion lowers her self-esteem, makes her feel disheartened, and makes her less motivated to achieve her objectives. Her negative self-talk eventually caused a loss of ambition and drive, which stopped her from effectively achieving goals and following her hobbies.

We can see from this example that the phrases you say to yourself regularly matter. It's not always a lack of talent or talents that keeps us from being the individuals we want to be; quite often, it's our erroneous self-perception that keeps us from being the person we want to be.

How to Change Your Inner Story

S-O-S, which refers to stopping, observing, and shifting, is an excellent method to use when your ego rears its ugly head.

S-top: mentally remind yourself when a bad idea enters your head. It is impossible to address an issue if we can still recognize its source. Saying halt allows you to intentionally manage a negative thought pattern and interrupt what may otherwise become a never-ending stream of negative ideas.

O-bserve: Next, pay attention to what you're saying to yourself and reflect on it. Ask yourself, "How true and correct is this thought?" Am I being too tough on myself? Is it possible to reach a judgment based on an opinion or experience instead of facts? Would I think or believe something like this for a friend?

S-hift: Finally, use positive coping techniques or approaches, such as those listed below, to modify your innate cognitive, physiological, or physical reaction.

Positive Self-Talk

As opposed to self-criticism, positive self-talk entails employing encouraging and helpful terminology inside your thoughts, and it's a great way to deal with your inner critic. Through positive self-talk, we acquire confidence, self-esteem, attain our goals, and learn to perceive reality with a more enthusiastic viewpoint.

To get you going, consider the following optimistic statements:

• I have the ability to alter my thinking.

• It took bravery to attempt something, and I am impressed with myself for doing so.

• Even tho the ending was not what I had dreamed of, I learned a great deal about myself.

• I still have a long way to go, but I'm proud of how far I've gone thus far.

• I am powerful and capable. I'm sure I'll be able to get through this.

• Tomorrow is another opportunity to try again with the knowledge gained today.

• This is a chance for me to step outside my comfort zone and attempt something new.

• I can improve as a person by learning from this scenario.

Remember that using positive self-talk doesn't mean you'll never experience negative thoughts. Instead, it means that you train your brain to perceive the silver lining when your critical internal monolog arises. It signifies that you recognize brighter days ahead, even on bad days. It indicates that, while we may not have control over most of our situations, we do influence how we respond and react to them. To conclude, the SOS approach and healthy self-talk will not eliminate negative thoughts completely. Alternatively, they enable us to understand our own ideas better, put them into context, and replace unduly critical words with more truthful ones.

Grab Your Free STOP Negative Self-Talk Worksheet

Finally, actual transformation and changing our ways of thinking will not happen fast, especially when our brains are designed to be negative. Yes, we will stumble, make errors, and allow our inner critic to get the better of us until, after all, we are only human. What counts is how we recover from our setbacks, how we learn from experience, and how we go about changing our negative beliefs into more positive ones. In the end, it is what we say to ourselves rather than what we say out loud that builds our lives.