Why Is It So Difficult to Develop Self-Discipline?
- Helena Grazie Calderon
- Jan 9, 2022
- 6 min read
While everybody may develop self-discipline, only a tiny percentage of people can perfect it. So, what is it about self-control that makes it so difficult? For starters, self-discipline is like going to battle with oneself; if you're attempting to perfect anything, there's a reasonable probability you have some negative habits you'd like to break.

Small, poor decisions like munching, watching too much TV, and overspending may become so ingrained in your habit that they impact the way you think if you do them often enough. It occurs when every poor decision is accompanied by an instant reward in junk food, entertainment, or a costly item.
The positive reinforcement you receive reinforces your wants, converting a single terrible decision into a full-fledged harmful habit. These unhealthy behaviors eventually become second nature, making it impossible to pause and consider the influence they're having on your future.
So why is self-discipline like a war within yourself?
It is because your body will resist you every step of the way. Because they lack the one critical factor that saves them from losing this fight, the majority of individuals fail to establish long-term self-discipline. Motivation, sometimes known as the "why," is all about.
It's termed this because everyone learning self-discipline should begin by determining "why" they want to improve; this is what maintains you on the path. When you're surrounded by temptation, and what you should focus on whenever you're tempted to give up.
So, when you try and change your entire way of life to become more disciplined, take the time to figure out your "why" that keeps you going. You'll be much better equipped to confront these four frequent hurdles that contribute to making self-discipline so tricky to master after you've found this out.
1. Idealized selves that are unrealistic
You've probably fantasized about what your life might be like if you worked hard and made adjustments you wanted to make. You could have established your own business, had the physique you've always wanted, or finally realized your lifetime goals.
The fact is, everyone has these fantasies; psychiatrists refer to them as an "ideal self." It is critical because, unlike our authentic selves, which reflect who we are, how we act, and how we seem, our ideal selves are entirely fictional.
But it doesn't mean they're worthless; your ideal selves lead you through life by providing a goal to strive towards, but most people are unaware of how achievable our ideal selves are. The objective is to pinpoint which aspects of your best self you wish to improve.
For instance, if your ideal self is diligent and conscientious, but your true self is a slacker, you should be aware that you need to improve your drive to succeed and be efficient. But here's where things get tricky: not all idealized selves are good; in fact, most ideal selves do much more harm than good. It occurs when people create unrealistic or unachievable versions of themselves and feel disheartened by the effort necessary to achieve them.
Furthermore, individuals prefer to focus on generic materialistic aspirations rather than things that genuinely make them happy. Someone may fantasize about being a bachelor on a secluded island for years, but they never contemplate the type of person they want to be. The "why" may help you construct your best self and work out which features are most essential to you; that's where motivation comes in.
As a result, you should create an image of yourself that is not only attainable but also excites you to be that person; after you've done that, you can begin to connect your true self to your best self in modest increments.
2. Making short-term sacrifices
Although this goes against our biological programming, it is one of the most crucial aspects of self-discipline. Assume you're trying to choose between two eateries. The first is your favorite burger establishment, high in harmful fats but tastes far better than the greens at the Green Restaurant next door.
Most people's impulses are to go to the first restaurant; indeed, the burger may cause stomach problems or weight gain, but the immediate good reward of eating this burger exceeds the benefits of eating a salad.
That is how our minds function when we lack self-discipline; we tend to act in ways that temporarily help us compromise our long-term interests. So, how does someone who has been exercising self-control act? Do they feel compelled to visit the salad bar? That is a frequent misconception about those who are disciplined. Simply having the strength to make a better choice doesn't imply they weren't tempted!
People with self-discipline can deliberate to focus on the long term rather than rewarding themselves in the near term, and they must continue to make these tough decisions every moment their biology attempts to pull them off course.
It is perhaps one of the most important reasons why it's so tough to stay disciplined after you've begun and why motivation is so essential for success. Unfortunately, if you don't have the incentive to concentrate on the long term constantly, you'll revert to old patterns.
3. Inability to exercise control
It's effortless to avoid distractions and temptations because you have total control over your surroundings, whether you're at home or on weekends. So, if you want to be more productive, you may switch off your smartphone, put on noise-canceling earphones, turn off your internet, or do a variety of other things.
It is simpler to break negative habits and start forming positive ones in this solitary environment. But what occurs when you throw in all of life's extra responsibilities? Many people's self-discipline crumbles at this point since they can't manage every area of their lives, particularly at work or school.
Imagine going to the gymnasium in the evenings, but your boss makes you work late one day. You don't desire to go to the gym when you get home, so you opt to rest and watch TV instead.
It may not appear to be a big deal at the time, but what if you have had to work evenings again the next day? "It would be simple to find time to work out every day if I didn't have to work," you might think, but the stress of a long day might be enough to rationalize a poor habit.
Instead, perhaps you have a terrible history of buying lotto tickets and depleting your money, so you decide to quit; you've been doing a fantastic job thus far, ignoring any discussion of lottery tickets and not purchasing any. However, you hear about a Mega Lottery on your way to work.
Simply remembering your negative behaviors might drive them back in full force, so what should you do? You may have heard the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" when it comes to preventing temptations.
But the truth is that you'll never indeed be able to dispose of them. You should try to avoid any temptations within your power, but you should be ready for when they appear.
Remind yourself of "why" you're trying to change, whether you're seated in front of the Television or in line to purchase a lotto ticket. In this manner, you'll be able to break these poor behaviors while also increasing the incentive you'll need to keep going.
4. Confidentiality in social situations
Few individuals admit to attempting to rid themselves of anything in their life. You probably haven't informed many of your pals that you're trying to improve your habits of consuming too much unhealthy food or watching too much TV.
It may be humiliating to confess that you have these flaws in the first place, even if you are doing something that is immensely beneficial to yourself. It is tough if you are the only person in your family or circle of friends dealing with this problem.
So, why is secrecy so harmful when it comes to practicing self-discipline? You could start breaking your new habits while you're among other people since you haven't informed anybody about them.
If you aim to consume fewer fatty meals, you wouldn't ordinarily tempt yourself by driving to a pizza joint. But what if you're with a group of buddies who are adamant about having pizza?
You don't have to be the only one who eats, so you eat since it's a special event. Unfortunately, this "cheat" can rapidly become a harmful habit in and of itself, destroying the basis of your positive behaviors. How are you going to get around this? Tell your friends and relatives that you are improving your life and that you are proud of your achievements thus far.
They could be able to assist you by accompanying you to the gym, suggesting a healthy restaurant to visit instead, or simply providing support.
Thank you for taking the time to read this; if you enjoyed it, please like, share, and leave a comment.
Comments